A professor and gymnastics

I walked into class and sat down in my usual seat. Looking around, I saw that no one was there yet that I wanted to talk to, so I decided to keep my headphones in until the professor showed up. I pulled out my course packet and proceeded to flip through it, making sure I had indeed finish all of my exercises for the day, looking up just in time to see an incredibly old gentleman shuffle through the doorway. Who is this old man that has wandered into my classroom? Is he lost? Confused? Alzheimery? Ah, yes. Our professor told us that she'd have another professor subbing our class for a couple of days. This must be who she was referring to. Time to take out the headphones.

The (must be close to retiring) professor began class by describing and demonstrating how he would begin his classes when he first taught the course...40 years ago. We then went through the commonly confused words and the oral presentation of the day, and then he began to take attendance. He got to the third girl...paused..."You look familiar. Do I know you?" Girl: Yeah, we had gymnastics.

My brain: GYMNASTICS?!?! WE HAD GYMNASTICS?!?! What does that even mean? Is this ancient, frail, hunched-over professor who slumps and shuffles as he walks teaching a gymnastics class?!? Is he TAKING the gymnastics class?????

I continued to ponder the possibilities of this comment for much of the class. Later on, he began to tell a story of a boy who was in his gymnastics class who did a double front tuck (or whatever that gymnastics term is) on his first try. He turns to girl in the front row: Did you ever do a double front tuck? Girl: I tried, but I just fell into the foam pit. Methuselah: But you didn't break your nose or anything? Girl: no... Super old professor, who is apparently a gymnastics teacher: You've gotta start taking class again sometimes. We've gotta teach you that double front tuck. (maybe he was saying back tuck...or flip...or twist...oh world I don't know what it's called) At this point, I literally burst out laughing. It was just too hard to suppress the laughter any longer! The girls around me clearly couldn't help it any longer, either, and our entire section began laughing. A professor as old as dust, teaching gymnastics! Did he do demonstrations? Did he ever spot the aspiring gymnasts? Did they ever accidentally hit him, causing his brittle bones to shatter? After one of the most surprising lectures and series of tangent-stories ever, I've made a decision. I'm taking gymnastics next year.

Also, a quick tip from Professor Gymnastics about how any English speaker can quickly get rid of any unwanted friends: "If you want to lose all of your friends (or even just certain friends), start using whom, or start using the possessive before the gerund." No one will want to talk to someone who speaks like that.