Big Kids' Playground

Today I graduated from the swing set and got to play on the big kids' playground. And let me tell you, I was having a little anxiety about it.

Let me start at the beginning.

When I got home from work, I saw on the roller derby Facebook group that the fresh meat (aka the newbies, aka me and the other girls that are 5 1/2 weeks into our 12 week training) would be skating with the advanced skaters during practice today. I was like, "wait, WHAT?!," and I nearly had a heart attack. I mean, really. I wasn't ready. So there I sat, in my awesome green chair, my heart beating 900 times a minute, experiencing a baby-sized anxiety moment, trying to be calm and brave.

Let me back-track for a minute. Lately, I've been a pretty anxious soul, so it's not really a huge jump for me to go from my normal self to my anxious self. Also, I just watched the league's advanced skaters play on Saturday, which only reaffirmed in my mind that I have a LONG way to go before I can actually compete with them.

Back to me in the spectacular green chair. (Seriously, though, it's the most amazing chair in the world. It's like Molly and her dolly's Big Comfy Couch, only it's not a couch, there are no clowns, and it's not big. It's just a perfectly-sized, comfy chair, and it's such a putrid green that it would be hideous if it weren't so comfortable.) I was able to achieve something that resembled calm as I sat, and I realized something--even though I was a little petrified at the thought of being thrown in there with real-life derby girls, I was also super excited! I mean, I really like the ladies on the league that I know so far. I know I can learn a ton from them, and I have no doubt that they'll help me learn a lot more quickly than I could if I were over on the other track.

So, with hopeful thoughts swirling around my brain, I headed off to practice. And I'll tell you what, it may have been terrifying, and I may have sucked, but it was also pretty fun. I have a list about a mile long of things that I can't do at all or can't do well enough, so I'm still not sure how delightful it will be for all of them to have me on the track, but I learned a lot.

Will I get anxious all over again on Thursday if we skate with them? You bet I will. That probably won't change for quite a while. But at least I know a few things that I only guessed at before: those women on the "big kids' playground" are going to help me get better, they're even nicer than I expected them to be, and Sky and Busty can't hit me full-out for 6 1/2 more weeks ;).