The English class I'm in is entirely discussion based, so each day before class we have to write a short little thing about the reading, part of which has to be at least 2 questions we want to talk about during our class discussion. As I've never been in a class quite like this before, and I've never really been one to join in discussions such as these, I've found this task quite difficult, a little daunting, yet very thought provoking. I've learned a lot from trying to do these things each day. I tend to get fixated on one little portion of the reading, and then I have trouble getting anything else out of it. Some of the kids in class have these huge, complex theories every single day that they got from reading the same pages I did. I get stuck on the fact that the guy had a huge nose. Today, though, I think the think I've become stuck on is actually kind of interesting, maybe a little deeper than my usual superficial thoughts. Lemme just share this with you for a sec. It may not make sense, it'll pretty much just be me spewing what's in my head onto this little space, so go with it if you want, or go ahead and get on with your day.

Mr. Biswas has spent the last several pages worrying about his house and if the laborers are gonna burn down his house and if his house is gonna be ok...all he's really done is think about his house, stress about his house, worry about his house, etc. He finally comes to a point where he decides to live one day at a time, not worry about anything, just think about what's going on in his little room with his little books and his own little things. A sense of calm is in the air. The author writes "no action would merely lead to another; every action was a part of his life which could not be recalled; therefore thought had to be given to every action..." Mr. Biswas enjoys his evening. For about the space of 1/3 of the page, he has a clear mind and a calm feeling. Then a dark cloud comes in. He develops a fear and an anxiety of people. He can no longer do anything without being afraid of the people.

Did he cause this fear and this anxiety by worrying so much about things beforehand? Did pushing everything out of his mind and trying to make his head clear cause everything to build up until the only way out was in the form of an anxiety/phobic attack? Could he have controlled his mind even more to make this dark cloud not appear in the first place? Do we have complete control over our minds, or do they sometimes need to have free reign over us? Do the dark clouds in our own lives come independent of us and challenge us to fight them away, or are they caused by our own heads? Do we invite them in? Can we truly be happy, calm, content, serene, all the time, or are there times when we need to be troubled, worried, anxious? Are people who seem happy all the time truly happy, or do they fight back the black cloud until it bursts and they're afraid of being around people for that day?