Desks and Conspiracy Theories

I have a professor. He teaches my Revolutionary America class, which begins at 8 am. I'm pretty positive that he's about as excited about it being at 8 as I am, and he always does the funniest things, as if he's trying to make the morning bearable for all of us. The very first day of class, he went on a tangent about the testing center and how much he hates it. He said that the whole purpose of the testing center was to put all of the testing students in a closed room, as close together as possible, so that hopefully they'll catch people cheating, which would allow them to kick those students out, giving the university more room to bring in other students that they can try to catch cheating and kick out. For real, it was funny. He looks to me the way I always imagined a professor would look, with his mustache, bow tie, and sports coats with elbow pads. Here's a picture of my dear professor:



Today was the best day yet. As he does many other days, he stood next to the door, joking/making fun of people who were stressed that they'd be late. As the bell rang, he started to pull the door closed, just as a girl raced under his arm into the first seat she saw. It was one of those desks that opens on the left side, but was up against the wall, so once she sat down, she was completely stuck. Professor was like, "are you sure you want to sit there? you know you're stuck, right? and no matter what happens, you won't be able to leave." Then, all of a sudden, he left. Who even knows where he went? As we tried to figure out his whereabouts, he came running into the room holding a new desk in his hands. He said the Stuck Girl, "Hurry, get up!" so she got up, he put the new desk down for her, grabbed the old desk, and ran back out. When he came back, he told us how important it was to not get caught (thus the run) when moving desks between rooms, because BYU doesn't like it when you move things. This is when he began to talk about the way everything at BYU is labeled, like all the desks, projectors, etc., with the room number, because everything might fall apart if a desk belonging in Marb 346 suddenly shows up in Marb 348.

For part of our lecture, we were discussing how the American colonists thought that everything the British did was part of a larger conspiracy theory. Our of nowhere, he started comparing the colonists to Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck. He used different voices to be each of them, and would stand in different places in the room so that it seemed like he was both Hannity and Beck having a conversation with each other. I don't know if I've ever seen such a delightful and funny thing at BYU.